Betrayed

I am not a person who needs a lot of friends.  The few friends I have, I cherish more than people know.  I feel that I am a loyal and trustworthy friend, but that is something I had to develop after being betrayed by a so-called friend from my childhood.

I grew up with this friend, we were distant cousins of sorts.  We were the same age, lived close enough to visit and spend the night at each other's houses often.  Our parents were cousins and friends, and we had many opportunities to get together.  I considered her my best friend.  We always seemed to have fun together, and had a lot in common.  Although she lived in a neighboring town, we would see each other once a week or so, and I always looked forward to our time together.

When we were about 16 years old, I learned that she was allowed to invite one person on her school-sponsored ski trip to Mansfield.  I was very excited, thinking she would invite me.  I had always wanted to learn to ski, and the opportunity to do something different was enticing.  She had other plans - she invited my older brother.  It hit me square in the face...all this time she was pretending to be my friend because she had a crush on my brother and that was the only way she could be around him.  I felt betrayed to the very core; I had been sincere and genuine in our friendship, but she had had her own agenda.

Needless to say, it went downhill from there.  I never said a word about it.  I just went my way, and put as much distance between us as I could.  No more sleep-overs or enjoying our family get-togethers.  It just made me sick and sad that someone could be so shallow, so manipulating, and such a user.

We graduated from high school and went our separate ways.  At 21 years of age, I joined the Air Force.  In September of 1980, I received a card from her while I was in basic training.  That's it.  It is now more than 30 years later and I have still heard nothing, other than when I contacted her daughter through Facebook last year.  All I got was, "Mom says hi."  I didn't bother to reply to that.

And so, dear friend, I have traveled the world, seen places that you can only dream about, skied the Alps without you, married, endured the death of my first child, divorced, struggled through illnesses, remarried, finished college, and became very successful and prosperous.  But, you don't know any of this because you didn't care enough about our friendship to keep in touch.  I tried, and gave up.  I guess it's just not worth it after all.