The Black Sheep

I have always been different.  I was one of those kids who always wanted to know why.  This was not necessarily a good thing in my family.  I was raised in a strict Southern Baptist family, where children were supposed to keep their mouths shut and act like small adults, and women were supposed to be submissive and subservient, and likewise keep their mouths shut.  I had two brothers, one older and one younger.  In a traditional family such as mine, the sun rises and sets on the male children.  The female children were "groomed" to be good little Christian wives who allowed their men to walk all over them, regardless if they were wrong.  I don't know why I was born with an independent personality and an inquiring mind, but it couldn't be changed no matter how much my parents tried.  I always knew that there was something about me that didn't quite fit in the family into which I was born.  I needed to have things explained to me, I needed information.  It wasn't enough for me to be told to do something, I needed to know why.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, it just meant that I had more of a reasoning and analytical way of thinking.  After a very turbulent childhood, I got married right out of high school just to escape the constraints of an upbringing that I felt was meant to break me rather than to nurture me.  The marriage was a mistake; it lasted about two years and ended when I learned he was unfaithful - something I can't abide to this day in any situation.  After that, I joined the Air Force, which was the best decision I have ever made.  I was allowed to learn and grow, question and get answers, develop into the self that I was always meant to be.  I heard my mother say to someone once that she didn't know why I joined the military because I didn't like people telling me what to do.  Isn't that true of any occupation or employment?  I think the Air Force gave me far more latitude than any job I have ever held.  They train you to do your job, and then they leave you alone.  You do your job to the best of your ability, you get rewarded and promoted.  It was as simple as that.  Yes, there were rules and regulations, but that is true for nearly everything in society and in life.  I have never been one to blindly follow, be it a religion, a fad, or whatever.  I have always made my own way, heard the beat of my own drums, and followed my heart.  And though there are probably those people who wish I had become what THEY wanted me to be, in the long run it was up to me.